I’m tall. And I always have been. Fortunately it’s been a trait that I’ve treasured more than anything else but if you’re not careful things creep into your psyche.
I’ve had a decent amount of dumb-ass comments thrown my way. The casual “you’re too tall” is my favorite, as if it’d be acceptable for me to respond with an equally casual “you’re too short,” or “you’re too square-shaped.”
But I digress.
Whether or not you’re confident, sometimes the outside world creeps in and you find yourself dealing with other people’s ideas about what and who you are.
I realized this when too often I was talking myself out of leaving the house in heels.
As much as I love heels, I was having conversations about why it wasn’t practical to go to work in them.
You see, I haven’t quite reached Anna Wintour or Eva Chen status where there’s a driver outside for me, otherwise this would be a non-factor. I’m still taking the the train for the time being and when I do, I’m reminded just how much taller I am than the average person and although it’s not actually an issue for me I’d honestly gotten tired of being stared at.
So, last week as I was in the midst of the morning extravaganza that is getting dressed, I caught myself counting out my favorite new boots because they’d add a few inches. And God forbid I get on the train and people notice just how tall I am.
I literally caught myself trying to figure out another shoe option and had to take a moment to say,”Giiiiirrrrlah, WTF is happening to you right now? Those boots are FIRE. They cost too damn much. They’re YOUR Shoes, that you bought with YOUR money and you’re putting them on YOUR feet! WTF does that have to do with anyone else?”
The answer was not a damn thing, but I think when you find yourself unconsciously avoiding something based on what other people will say, you do have to have a conversation with yourself STAT. So I did.
I wondered how long this had been going on. When did it start? Why? And how can we make sure it doesn’t happen again.
It was then that I realized I’m not this superwoman incapable of letting the outside world shape my decisions, and that I’d need to check in with myself from time to time to see why I do some of the things I do.
And then I thought about what Drake would say, because of course that’s a thing. He brought everything back into perspective with a line he so eloquently proclaimed on the piece of work that is “Sweat it out” and what he said was this…
Put those f*cking heels on and work it girl.